Remember when you first started dating? You couldn’t wait to have that first kiss. That’s because it was supercharged with intention, anticipation, and the unknown. Then, as time passes, the make out completely goes out the window and your erotic connection gets relegated to sex and the bedroom.
When you think about making out, you might just think it’s a few french kisses and some heavy petting, but the true art of the make-out is actually about bringing surprise and sexiness into different moments throughout the day and throughout your relationship. It’s less about what you do and all about how you do it. Instead of bringing silly slaps on the ass or quick pecks on the lips, the make-out is about taking a moment to take seriously and savor your connection.
“We are seriously out of practice,” Callie said after plopping down next to her boyfriend Holden. It was a bit of an unusual couple for us since neither of them seemed angry or even that worried about the fact that they hadn’t had sex for the past 2 years. More than anything they were perplexed. Callie added, “In the beginning, our sex was insanely romantic, like every touch and every look and every move was full of meaning and promise.” Holden chimed in, “After a while, that just sort of faded and it didn’t really get replaced with anything.”
“That sounds like some pretty High G sex,” I said laughing.
“I don’t know who you are, but that strap-on you’re wearing … mmm… just WORKS for you,” I said to her, walking up to her slowly and looking into her eyes. “Oh, thank you,” she replied playfully, “Would you like a kiss?”
We made out for a bit. “Unfortunately, I have to move on,” she pouted her delicious lips and said, pointing to a group of people beckoning to her. Wiggling her shapely ass at me, she asked, “One for the road?” Since she asked nicely, I obliged.
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it can be challenging to transition into sex, especially if you are yourself or happen to have a thorny partner. What is a thorny partner, you ask? Great question! A thorny partner is a partner that is both horny and has some prickly challenges with transitioning or getting in the mood for sex. In other words, a person who has two parts inside them, one that really wants sex (the horny part) and one that kind of avoid or feels averse to sex when it first starts (the thorny part). This can be very challenging because the thorny part makes their partner feel rejected, while the horny part feels rejected that their partner isn’t trying harder.
So, how do you deal with Thorniness in your relationship?
If a relationship lasts long enough, it is inevitable that you will eventually experience The Gap – and the gap gets in the way of so much of happiness. But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before we take a look at all the problems the gap causes and what the heck we can do about it, we must first define it.
The gap, friends, is that pesky difference between who you first imagined your partner was and the person who is actually sitting in front of you. The gap happens for sooooooo many reasons. To read more about all of the reasons and how you can help couples, click here.
We were just joking about the 5 Easy Steps, but we do think it’s time to lose the reputation you’ve been trying so hard to protect! So here’s a story by (and about) Celeste that we think will help you find your freedom instead…
One Monday morning in 8th grade, as I jogged slowly around the block with my fellow students in PE class in the small town where I grew up, one of my classmates jogged up next to me, “So, I heard you gave head to John last night in Nate’s treehouse.” Simultaneously, I felt the wind knocked out of me and my flight response kicked in full-force. I started to run as fast as I could – Looking back now, I know I was trying to run away from this image of me as a girl who would give a blowjob at a party to someone she wasn’t even really dating. Never having been any kind of jock, it was certainly the fastest I’d ever run in PE.